


Team Sonnet

by fictionalverity



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 06:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12163353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalverity/pseuds/fictionalverity
Summary: Janet knows everything. Jason has vague ideas about some things. Set during S1E12, "Mindy St. Claire."





	Team Sonnet

Jason Mendoza was definitely sure he'd probably had sex. Once at a party, he and Felicity Sterling had gone into a bedroom and taken off some of their clothes and kissed a lot, and that was really cool, but then he told Andre they'd had sex, and Andre told everyone, and Felicity called Jason a liar and yelled at him a _lot_. So maybe they hadn't. On the other hand, Pillboy one hundred percent had sex with his girlfriends, and as far as Jason could tell, those girls also yelled at Pillboy whenever they weren't kissing.

"Homie, why do you hang with someone who's mad at you all the time?" Jason asked Pillboy once. He had to shout over the noise of the club, and avoid looking at Pillboy's girl McKenzie, who was glaring at them from the other side of the room.

"She's only mad some of the time, dawg! And when she's not mad..." Pillboy waggled his eyebrows. "She's amazing, know what I'm saying?"

Jason guessed that made sense. If Pillboy was happy, he didn't have to worry about it. He still didn't want to hang with a girl who was mean to him, though, even if it meant he would have sex again. It didn't seem like that big of a deal.

But then he met Janet, who made the bass drop in his heart, and then they got married, and once people got married, they could have sex whether they yelled at each other or not. It was going to be  _dope_ , just as soon as Jason figured out what to do.

Mindy St. Claire's bedroom was weird, so Jason and Janet went into her game room, which had a foosball table, but only one of the knobs would spin. "Should we take off our clothes?" Jason said. He wasn't totally sure that Janet's clothes weren't part of her skin. It was awesome.

Janet blinked. "I just analyzed 1.6 billion depictions of sexual intercourse between two humans. In most cases the humans remove all their clothing, but sometimes they remain partially clothed."

"Cool." Jason started taking off his pants.

"Usually they start by kissing," Janet added.

"Oh. Let's do that, then." Fifteen minutes of total dopeness happened. "Janet, what do we do next?"

It took Janet a little longer to blink this time. "I've categorized the possibilities into sixty-nine different positions. Some seem more effective than others."

"Best wife  _ever_ ," Jason said. "Okay, you describe the best ones, I'll draw them, and then we'll pick."

The drawings only sort of helped. After they gave up, they went out into Mindy's backyard, holding hands. There was nothing but trees and grass as far as Jason could see. "Dude, we could open a club here! There's probably enough space."

"My powers don't work here, and we have no construction materials," Janet said.

Jason was glad he had Janet to think of those things. "We've still gotta open a club, though. I'll be the DJ, you'll bring people on the train, and Eleanor can mix the drinks. It's going to be  _lit_." He felt like he was forgetting something. "Oh! And we've gotta have a badass name so people know we're a team."

"I have a name. My name is Janet."

"No, dude, a couple name for the two of us together. Like Kimye, or The Chainsmokers."

"Sure! Our options for combining our names are Jaja, Netson, and Sonnet."

That last one sounded kinda familiar. "What's a sonnet?"

"A sonnet is a poem."

"Hey, I wrote a poem for our wedding!" Jason said. "I pick that one."

"Okay!" Janet said. "The two of us together are Sonnet."

Jason kissed her again. This time, it felt even more amazing, better than he had ever felt in his whole entire... "Janet! Did we just have sex?"

"We did not!" Janet said. She was smiling, so she wasn't mad.

"All right. We'll try again later," Jason said. "Team Sonnet!"

Jason and Janet high-fived.

**Author's Note:**

> Literally the first piece of fanfic I have ever posted on the internet. I'm so excited that season 2 of The Good Place is underway!


End file.
